Maybe you saw my last episode where I’ve had to deal with one negative situation after the next with all kinds of people? My intent was to follow that up with a positive story that tells what I’ve been observing and learning about how to overcome all negatives by appropriate responses to each situation. Well, fortunately, that is what we are handling today and it is a lesson that was very hard for me to learn. In this episode, I want to tell a little about the process of learning to develop a character trait that gives God the freedom to handle your attackers so that you always get a positive outcome no matter what they try doing to you.

Balancing Your Response As A Divine King

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:57 (KJV)

I mentioned in a previous episode how the Bible is full of stories of positive and miraculous outcomes in the midst of very evil circumstances. In that episode, I was mostly referring to negative circumstances that were not necessarily caused by people who attack you. There can be lots of evil things that happen that are not always to be blamed on people but, in many cases, the actions and attitudes of people are the problem we are forced to deal with. It’s a fact of life that, when you are doing what God put you here for, you are going to face much resistance from those who are not on your side. We don’t need to get into all the reasons but, in my experience, you are going to find yourself on the sharp end of a mouth (or even a violent physical attack) more times than you would like.

For reasons of my family lineage, personality and former military career, I tend to be quick to confront people and get into a verbal fight when the need arises. I’ve had lots of dreams about that tendency and not all of them were necessarily good. In some cases, it is absolutely appropriate to confront people for their attitudes but, there is also a way to do that so that God will still step in for you. The key is balancing how you do the confrontation so that you don’t end up trying to make a right out of two wrongs.

The Apostle Paul tells us that to be angry is, in itself, not a sin but rather, it is our response to someone’s attitude that can cross the line and put us equally in the wrong (Ephesians 4:26). If you’re like me, your tendency is to unfortunately end up voiding the whole sin committed by the other person by committing your own in return. Seriously, this balancing act is really not easy to learn if you have a generally dominant personality as I do. It was not until I learned about the character trait of meekness that Jesus taught about that I slowly began modifying my responses to my attackers.

In my experience, the most successful way to handle people who come against you is a combination of both a measured confrontation and a stepping back to let God deal with them. We see many cases in the Old Testament where God expected His people to fight their own wars but, in other cases, He did all the fighting for them. It is far too long a subject for this blog but, there is a process of training to become a king in God’s kingdom where you DO learn to fight divine wars and it is NOT appropriate to think God will fight all your wars for you. If you’ve seen any of my blogs on sonship, then you know that the state of full maturity as a Christian means you DO fight wars, and… you win them!

The Key Is In Your Intent

Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.

2 Corinthians 2:14 (KJV)

I’ve been learning that there is a way to handle the attackers who come against you in such a way that you will get the victory that God promises to His people. As I said above, it is definitely a balancing act between two extremes: 1) doing nothing, and 2) standing up for yourself. I don’t want to make this over-generalized and there are always exceptions to a standard rule but, let’s try to walk through this in a fairly simple way…

When someone attacks you, you have kingdom authority to correct and rebuke them if they are out of order with God’s ways. We are expected to stand on the authority of God’s word and anyone who does not, is putting themselves in cowardice territory. From what I have learned however, it is the manner we correct a person that either puts us in the clear (for God to act) or we end up muddying the waters by committing a sin in return (that limits God in what He can do).

A good rule of thumb is to consider the character trait of meekness in your response. What I mean is, if you correct or rebuke someone with the intent to gain a positive outcome, then you are on the right track. But, if you do as I used to, and just attack in return with the intent of destroying the other person, then you are in the wrong. Jesus gave us a clue here in John 14:6 where He said that He is 3 things: 1) the way, 2) the truth, 3) the life.

When we are dealing with people who are out of order with God’s word, we need to remember those 3 things! Just the TRUTH by itself is not enough. You can kill a person with truth, if you mishandle it. You must handle truth in God’s WAY! By doing that, your ultimate intent should be to produce LIFE, not death! Proverbs 18:21 says we can kill a person with our mouth or we can bring life to them. Back to what Jesus said, we are to remember that everything we do should be for the purpose of bringing about life, not death.

So, when we respond to those who attack us verbally, we need to remember that our ultimate goal should be to correct the person in such a way as to bring about life and a positive outcome. Yes, it’s true that not everyone will respond in the way we hope but, that is where God comes in. We are NOT the jury and the judge here. We are the messenger of the judge but, we are not the judge ourselves. When we step up and stand on the authority of God’s word in a way that attempts to bring about a positive outcome, then we are giving God something to work with.

New Miraculous Results Experienced

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 (KJV)

Once we do our part, according to those 3 principles (the way, the truth, the life), then God can step in and do what we cannot. He can cause a heavy conviction to come on that person so that they realize they are in the wrong. He can rebuke them in a dream that shows something very evil about their attitude. He can arrange circumstances against that person so they have the opportunity to see the error of their ways.

In some cases, YES, God does actually kill people who go so far over the line and they refuse to repent. Pride goes before destruction (Proverbs 16:18) and a person who refuses to repent of their evil ways will ultimately fall into judgment and be eternally destroyed. Our job is simply to point out the facts of the matter to them.

In the last year or so, I have been practicing these principles in ways I never really did before. As a result, I have seen sudden turnarounds with the attitudes of people where I know for a fact, God stepped in and did something. I’ve had dreams about people who formerly attacked me being humbled by God. Most of the time, my dreams did not show what God did to them to get that change of heart but, just that it was obvious that He did something.

I’ve also learned to tell people the basic facts of a situation and why they needed to hear what I had to say, for the benefit of THEIR positive outcome. Remember, the ultimate intent of what we say to our attackers should be for the purpose of life. That does NOT mean we have to say everything in a nice, user friendly way! Just as Jesus did with the pharisees, some people are so hard hearted that the only way to get through to them is by rebuking them very harshly (Titus 1:13). Believe me, I’ve had to do this quite a lot although in recent times, I generally do it less often now.

Here’s a good question I’m sure you are asking… How do you know what manner to deal with a person? The simple answer is to be led by the Holy Spirit, whether it be simply factual, or friendly or stern or even harsh. In the end, do your part, with the right intent and expect all things to work for your good. Then, step back and wait for God to act. This last part will often involve patience so don’t necessarily expect God to remove your attackers off the face of the earth by the end of the week (haha, ok I’m kidding… or am I??)

Let God do His part and all things will work for your good, even if you have to endure attacks for the short term. Those are the lessons I’ve been learning and my results have been noticeably improving!

To be continued…

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