Almost four years ago, when I expected to be given the money to start my invention company, I met with a group of wealth managers who specialize in working with entrepreneurs. They gave me some very valuable advice and insights about the process I was in with my own business startup. As you can see from all these episodes, there is very little in my background that I can point to regarding prior business / entrepreneurial experience. It’s not that I don’t have the personality to be an entrepreneur (because I do), but it’s just not something I’ve done before in this way. Talking with those business mentors was a very insightful experience and it proved to be a very accurate glimpse of my future (unbeknownst to me at the time). What they told me has since proven to be the unpleasant and unfortunate truth which has called many things into question about the future of what God has chosen me for.

“This Is The Way”

One of the first things I was told was that everyone who is an entrepreneur, all has the same life situation. Particularly, it was emphasized that people like me are all a financial train wreck. They have debt they can’t pay, they have no normal jobs, many of them don’t have their own house to live in and they look on the outside as if they are a total disaster. People don’t trust them and think they are taking a risk that’s way over their heads. I’m elaborating a little bit now on the actual words I was told but if you read stories about people who follow this path, you’ll find all this is true.

So, the first thing I was told was effectively that I was on the right track because I was following a recognizable pattern, according to the experts who deal with people like me every day. Hearing that was the biggest relief to me because I had no friends or acquaintances who were doing anything like me. Basically, I felt like I was stranded on a remote island, trying to reinvent the wheel all over again. Seriously, it’s worse than I’m able to put into words.

On top of that, the only people I do have a connection with are those who have a ministry calling (which I do not) and none of them are in a position to help me with the uniquely specific challenges that I have to deal with. If that wasn’t bad enough, I have a story that God required me to put out publicly how I have an invention that came from God in dreams at night, which 95% of modern day churches don’t even believe in.

And that’s not the least of the problems… I am, at the core of my personality, NOT a public person. If I could have just been a pilot my whole life or done some other line of work where I could be a technical expert in some way, in the background where no one would have known me, that would have been perfect. Why would I want to be out in public and have to tell a story that most people will never believe or accept?! Why? Why me?!

It makes no sense. But… since most of you reading this don’t actually know me and all you see is what’s on the outside in this website (or book). Based on that, you are naturally going to make an assumption about me that is mostly reasonable, but still completely false. And there’s really nothing I can say to make you think any differently.

So now that we’ve established that entrepreneurs live a very paradoxical lifestyle, let’s move on to the next major lesson I learned from the wealth managers I mentioned at the beginning here…

Trust No One (the sad reality)

One of the most unfortunate aspects about the calling I have is that, aside from people making all kinds of false judgements about you, they also look at you only to see what they can get from you. Putting it bluntly, they only care about you as far as your money goes. When you have money, they love you. And when you don’t, they will throw you out immediately and betray you. It’s really a test of their character, not yours. But it won’t feel that way to you because you are the one who’s being betrayed.

Back to the title of this episode… “no one is your friend in this process”. That’s what I was told by the senior wealth manager at the company I initially met with. I wish I could say that my experience to this point was different. I wish I could say that all the positive reasons I had when God answered me and put me on this path were still fully intact and had led to the most positive experiences with everyone I met. But, it hasn’t. Actually, my experience so far has been so horrible that I have even wished many times that I never asked God for a way to make huge amounts of money for the express purpose of giving to those who had nothing.

Seriously… it’s now been about 15 years since I asked God to grant me that request and most of these last years have been the absolute worst of my life. I really have to admit that many times I forgot how I got to this point and I wondered why God even chose me for this calling. Aside from the fact that (as I’ve said many times), I am the least qualified person to be chosen for this…

Not the invention, not this website project, not a “ministry person”… Nope! None of that is the real me.

So the pathway to becoming an entrepreneur with some big huge world changing invention is most of the time a horrible one. And then being forced to go out and tell intellectual worldly business people that all this came from God is really going to set you up to be a laughing stock. And then to see by experience that you can’t even trust the people you are supposed to (or forced to) work with… well, that’s just the icing on the cake now isn’t it. Now are you getting the accurate picture here?

If you were me, and you knew all this was going to be your path in life when you asked God what I asked Him 15 years ago, would you still have asked what I did? Would you still think all this was worth it just to be able to give something to those who, in the end, many of them probably wouldn’t even care anything about you. And many of them will in fact misjudge you, mistreat you, betray you and hate you.

Would all this still have been worth it? Living on nothing. Being verbally attacked and falsely accused. Being lied to, straight to your face — especially in ways that made your life the worst hell on earth you could ever have imagined.

Would you still have asked what I did 15 years ago… I have a feeling I know the answer: probably not. And I can say that because I really do not think I would have asked what I did either. I think I would have just stuck with flying as a pilot. At least that I would have enjoyed. And I would have had a nice lifestyle, living in my own house, doing the kind of work I enjoyed. No one would have needed to know me. No one would have had to read my life story, with all its ups and downs — the good, the bad and the ugly. And I would have been perfectly happy that way. Just let me do what I like behind the scenes. Who cares about anything else.

I have never before been on the receiving end of such unbelievably evil attitudes, directed towards me personally, as I have just within the last few years. I have really wondered whether all this was really worth it or not.

Was All This Worth It?

If today, God gave me the chance to trade all this in right now so I could go right back to what I would have loved to do in the beginning, would I accept it? Well… that’s a very good question isn’t it. The answer might disappoint you (not that I care anymore). Truthfully, I might just tell Him, sure, this was not worth it.

Do I need to add in the fact that the global ministry God used to bring me all this has also been on the receiving end of much worse than I’ve described here about myself? Do we need to add that into the equation as well??

No matter which angle you look at this from, it’s really hard to calculate an equation where all this adds up to a positive. This is not a chart pattern that points to a solid return on investment. If I were analyzing this as a potential stock purchase, I’ll tell you for a fact, I would leave this one on the table and look elsewhere.

So now we wait and see what the future holds and if God still wants any of this to happen. Is He going to spare this country from a nuclear annihilation by a Russian and Chinese nuclear submarine attack? Is He going to let this country “get what it deserves” for turning its back on Him and for all the wickedness this country has willfully embraced?

Did I go through all this in the last 15 years for nothing? Why did I give up everything and live on nothing, and go through a version of hell on earth? Well… at this point, I really can’t say which way it will go. God has warned us repeatedly about WW3 and the end of the USA. He has shown my wife a coming war and He has shown the global ministry I am a part of the same thing. The chance of this invention ever happening is pretty much not a sure thing at all at this point.

I’ve done my part in working towards the fulfillment of that invention. But that does not mean there will be a country left where you can find it operating.

Even if there is, why live a life where most people will hate you and those who pretend to love you are only in it for your money?

That to me sounds like a waste of a life. Now, we wait and see what God has to say about it all. It no longer matters to me if He changes His mind and gives me a different future. Maybe that was really His plan all along. Fine with me.

To be continued… (?)

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